tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post2317816143716012870..comments2023-09-28T10:59:26.381+01:00Comments on Living, writing and other stuff: Leader of the Pack.Bill Kirtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-49980901247912013022010-01-29T17:36:36.603+00:002010-01-29T17:36:36.603+00:00Ahhh, yes. But misunderstanding, that smile was o...Ahhh, yes. But misunderstanding, that smile was one of astonishment that you were paying for the drinks. BTW how many iterations of this intellectual stuff do we have to go through before we can start using terms like "quasi-New Pitsligoid"" and "preterite Brocher" and so on?<br /><br />High time we came round to your house and broke some cutlery, er, I mean crockery of course.Donnie Rosshttp://www.facebook.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-6744738866382200252010-01-29T16:17:56.044+00:002010-01-29T16:17:56.044+00:00Do you really need to ask that question, Donnie? D...Do you really need to ask that question, Donnie? Don't you remember once catching a fleeting glimpse of my wallet and being unable to suppress the pitying smile it provoked?Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-60314801332944087212010-01-29T13:09:33.802+00:002010-01-29T13:09:33.802+00:00Yep, I think that may be a first in all of the won...Yep, I think that may be a first in all of the wondrous golden realms of poesie & apophthegmatologia and that. Do you think Shakespeare may be some kind of euphemism? Let's hope Dan Brown never gets to hear of all this. Sh*t, you're not him, are you??Donnie Rosshttp://www.facebook.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-59045908892962730892010-01-28T11:26:26.335+00:002010-01-28T11:26:26.335+00:00Donnie - your determination to be known as the new...Donnie - your determination to be known as the new McGonagall is duly noted. However, what will not be countenanced or forgiven is the rhyming of 'tutu' and 'beaut you'.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-15907321316901259972010-01-27T17:46:48.196+00:002010-01-27T17:46:48.196+00:00The Ballad of Swanny McGuru
A bunch of the corps w...The Ballad of Swanny McGuru<br />A bunch of the corps was campin it up<br />One night at the dangerous Swansea Ballet,<br />A Tale of Two Cygnets, The Egg-Cracker Suite,<br />Swannery Row in a single take<br />But when we gets ter that famous Swan Lake, <br />They ‘ad ter ring dahn the curtin sheet<br />Cos I’d forgotten me strides, OK?<br /><br />Well, the Leda of the ballet flirts, <br />Was a feathery-headed bit of a sport<br />And she flashed me a meaninful Lohengrin<br />With a derriere and a pirouette spin<br />“Ooh Bishop, yer Eminence!” - unfrocked me tutu,<br />And she sez, “You’ve forgotten yer strides, ye beaut you!”<br /><br />Then she took me downstairs to her undressin pantry<br />Letting me Parsifal none too andante<br />You want to bump ugly ducklins? I axt,<br />Are you quackers, she sez, but whipped orf ‘er vest<br />Positions developpé, wot ‘appened to Posh?<br />En croix, en dedans, en dehors, Magic Flute!<br />Carmina Burana, Allegro con Brioche<br />Then I puts on me strides and goes back ter be Mute.Donnie Rosshttp://www.facebook.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-81148578462317741902010-01-23T13:19:28.288+00:002010-01-23T13:19:28.288+00:00You bloody intellectuals! There's paradise sta...You bloody intellectuals! There's paradise staring you in the face and you want to know what it bloody means. Just go and feel the bloody swan. I have spoken.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-58155678506179442172010-01-23T12:52:05.630+00:002010-01-23T12:52:05.630+00:00Yes. But what do they mean?Yes. But what do they mean?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13316263425112020638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-687586605064897742010-01-23T12:34:08.487+00:002010-01-23T12:34:08.487+00:00Michael, the words have been uttered. Go to it, yo...Michael, the words have been uttered. Go to it, young man.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-15129483924663856912010-01-23T01:33:48.233+00:002010-01-23T01:33:48.233+00:00Oooh, leg warmers! I'd like to see that...
Fl...Oooh, leg warmers! I'd like to see that...<br /><br />Flotsodim! Kimasabe!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-23507163440445020382010-01-22T21:01:48.689+00:002010-01-22T21:01:48.689+00:00Michael, last time I was in Milan, they went wild ...Michael, last time I was in Milan, they went wild for my leg warmers so I'm with you there.<br /><br />Everyone else, eyes averted please from the moment Marley utters that polysyllabic abstraction.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-21303661412200282842010-01-22T20:14:17.352+00:002010-01-22T20:14:17.352+00:00Right - what to reply to first...mmmm, Bill. Me an...Right - what to reply to first...mmmm, Bill. Me and you in a hut. The dress code has to be shirt n tie, grey jogging bottoms and leg-warmers. We'd be laughing for days. And that is the best medicine.<br />Marley, 3 syllables and I'm yours. Particularly if it's an abstract term. This is me panting like a puppy at the very thought.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13316263425112020638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-4185471682792063782010-01-22T14:31:31.351+00:002010-01-22T14:31:31.351+00:00Marley, it never for a moment occurred to me to im...Marley, it never for a moment occurred to me to imagine that anyone might take anything I say seriously but I know some people do, so thanks for the reminder.<br /><br />And the 'Leader of the Pack' chanting is very appealing (until you remember what happened to that particular leader). Nonetheless, that'll be a regular evening feature, after the special brownies have been eaten. But be warned, now that Michael knows you use big words, too, he'll be following you round like a wee puppy. Be gentle with him.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-14634314599041984572010-01-22T13:35:16.340+00:002010-01-22T13:35:16.340+00:00ROTFL, you really should write fantasy, Bill, this...ROTFL, you really should write fantasy, Bill, this is pure joy. And so many fun responses, I mean, you were kidding right?<br /><br />You forgot the chant to call your followers. What would it be? Ours would of course be that old song, "The Leader of the Pack", and I can see us joined in one of those dancing chains while we sing it. Hoot, hoot.<br /><br />Michael, Michael, keep your mind on the etherealistic plane...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-75339692251888265972010-01-22T10:24:00.441+00:002010-01-22T10:24:00.441+00:00Hmmm, this isn’t as easy as I thought it would be....Hmmm, this isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I thought Gurus’ followers were supposed to be passive, accommodating, peace-loving people who swallowed all sorts of garbage. Apparently not, (unless I’ve been particularly unlucky with my followers). Apart from the ‘crap’, ‘shit’ faction – which has now been augmented by Marley’s call for the ‘fruitcake police’ and Linda’s accusation of ‘blarney’ and ‘BS’, I’m faced with Catherine’s demand for a fleet of Rolls Royces. Of all of you, only the faithful shed-provider Michael shows the innocence I was hoping for. His intellectual curiosity about the Swan (a spiritual apophthegm so cruelly and gratuitously lampooned by Marley), suggests that he is the sort of empty vessel I was seeking. Which means that, if it’s just him and me in the hut, the dress code will need a drastic rethink.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-86500227774263126892010-01-22T07:59:58.795+00:002010-01-22T07:59:58.795+00:00So. Is feeling the swan a euphemism?So. Is feeling the swan a euphemism?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13316263425112020638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-76203166051777478942010-01-22T03:23:21.435+00:002010-01-22T03:23:21.435+00:00Personally, the McHenry part of me senses a bunch ...Personally, the McHenry part of me senses a bunch of blarney being tossed about. Or is that BS? (I had to hop on the "shit" and "crap" bandwagon!)<br /><br />Bill, you are so full of it! But so long as you continue making me laugh out loud, I'll continue reading.<br /><br />Shoot me the address of your hut.LINDA FAULKNERhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08059741905691302335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-86030112575890245862010-01-22T02:15:34.351+00:002010-01-22T02:15:34.351+00:00Ahhh, I should have known that was the answer - Th...Ahhh, I should have known that was the answer - The sweetness of the butterfly drowns daily in the morning’s echoes...have you been checked lately by the fruitcake police? Seriously, though serious I could not manage while reading this blog, you. are. a poetically strange man.<br /><br />And I think I want to be a follower, lol. I want to feel the swan...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-47056509389823752992010-01-21T18:58:41.025+00:002010-01-21T18:58:41.025+00:00I'll be a follower, Bill. Always wanted a Guru...I'll be a follower, Bill. Always wanted a Guru. When will you be getting the fleet of Rolls Royces then?Catherine Czerkawskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14554969254207924049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-48119727110117665152010-01-21T16:13:38.880+00:002010-01-21T16:13:38.880+00:00Gillian, I’m appalled to hear that that bloody swa...Gillian, I’m appalled to hear that that bloody swan’s still in your blood. I thought I told you to send the ferret in after it.<br />As for ‘ematio’, you have me at a disadvantage. Apart from ratio, I don’t know any other words with such an ending. Honest. No really, I don’t.<br /><br />And Anneke, what a kind offer. I knew of your elevation to respectability but hadn’t thought of employing you as a consultant. How perceptive of you to make cash-flow the hook for your pitch. I expect I can quickly knock up a book of wise saws (for ‘wise’ read ‘incomprehensible’) but I hadn’t really thought of followers wearing anything at all. As Guru I’ll necessarily have to wear Gucci or Dolce e Gabbana but Jean, Gillian and the rest can surely forego vestments. It’s in such a good cause. And if I accept Michael's offer of a hut, he'll probably insist on it.<br /><br />You’ll notice I was careful not to mention either sex or obedience. I know how that upsets some women. However, if that’s what’s involved in getting filthy rich, I’ll make an exception.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-37917290366844264532010-01-21T14:34:33.782+00:002010-01-21T14:34:33.782+00:00It's a good start Bill, but I can see that you...It's a good start Bill, but I can see that you need the expertise from a professional to make this into a success. I mean talking about cash flow.<br />Fortunately, for you, I just graduated as a guru expert and I'm happy to announce that I can offer you guru coaching.<br />A few hints: a special book, preferably about 'ancient'wisdom is important. It's no problem if it's fiction, that's what Gerald Gardner, founder of the wicca movement, did in the early 20th century and he was very succesful.<br />Furthermore, special clothing will help. Followers might hesitate if they have to adjust their wardrobe to be your follower, but once all their clothes are orange they won't leave you anymore, simply because they already invested that much.<br />Ok, the issues about sex and obedience I will discuss on our first session in Skype. You know where to find me. I can assure you, you won't regret it. Once you start following my guidance you will get filthy rich (and so will I)Annekehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06321038108914191304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-79188746270541908332010-01-21T12:57:14.528+00:002010-01-21T12:57:14.528+00:00You will always be my guru, Bill; God knows I can&...You will always be my guru, Bill; God knows I can't get that swan out of my blood. Now I'm going to clean my spiritual carburettor. Or go on Facebook. One or the other. <br /><br />(And what is this word verification 'ematio'? Sounds like a good name for a sect to me.)Gillian Philiphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17775401199564200537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-21371900666057632982010-01-21T11:34:49.701+00:002010-01-21T11:34:49.701+00:00OK, a little balance is being restored to set agai...OK, a little balance is being restored to set against the 'shit' and 'crap' assessments of my Gurudom. I have a follower (thank you, Jean) and Rosemary (perhaps ironically) used the expression 'true Guru'. To go with that, there's encouragement from Sofisticos (welcome) to pursue at least the hokku aspect of my calling. This is looking promising.<br /><br />I also found out this morning that the Samurai used to wear make-up, so I may have to revisit my theory about Neanderthals. Gurus have such busy lives.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07675643113010061969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-75955122078544013562010-01-20T23:35:01.657+00:002010-01-20T23:35:01.657+00:00Hi. You can make a good hokku writer, Bill.Hi. You can make a good hokku writer, Bill.sofisticoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09969742147980388151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-34898686935861067702010-01-20T22:28:12.999+00:002010-01-20T22:28:12.999+00:00How on earth do you think them up, Bill? But then ...How on earth do you think them up, Bill? But then a true Guru should be filled with such insights...Rosemary Gemmellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09311840205603508422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387052581086893410.post-43279302845726861062010-01-20T20:47:34.791+00:002010-01-20T20:47:34.791+00:00Count me in as a follower, Bill. You always come u...Count me in as a follower, Bill. You always come up with a post that makes me laugh when I need one. Guru Kirton to the rescue . . . :)Jean Henry Meadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08146960738692672013noreply@blogger.com