Friday 10 December 2010

Searching for something other than the grooves.

Naturally enough, I want people to read my blogs. I also want them to read my books. But there are millions of blogs (and books) competing for readers, so you have to offer something different. If I’d called this posting ‘How to write a best seller in a day’ I’d probably be sued for whatever the incomprehensible legal term for perpetrating misleading labels is but I’d also get more hits than the rest of my postings put together.

I know that’s obvious but it’s confirmed by the search terms that lead people here. There was me thinking it’s my charisma, charm and all those other qualities I have in such abundance but, mostly, it’s people googling ‘what makes a good novel?’ That’s the title I gave to a posting in September 2009, and it’s the one which crops up most frequently (by a very long way) in the stats. Don’t ask me what I said in it because if I wrote another one with the same title now I’d probably list completely different things.

So, that’s the first point. The second (and I’ll bring the two together in a moment) is that I was thinking of writing a blog about how ideas, stories, blog postings can be triggered just by linking two ideas which don’t belong together. You’ll probably think I need to get out more when I tell you that I thought of that when I was watching some blackbirds clinging onto very bendy stems of pyracantha plants in our garden and reaching for the berries. And I wondered what it would be like to be a blackbird with vertigo.

I know, I know – stupid idea because any branch of the blackbird family with vertigo would have died out, either from natural selection or from plummeting out of trees. But already, I’ve got 64 words out of that and you can see how just thinking of the impossibility of the conjunction of those two things already sets the mind off on a thread it would never have conceived of ordinarily. And you’d have to look at the nature and consequences of vertigo as well as the preferred lifestyle of the blackbird (or any bird) in a fresh way.

It’s like when I wrote that blog a while back about wondering what communities of pills and tablets do in their jars while they’re waiting for you to open them for your daily dose of whatever it is. The juxtaposition there is inanimate objects and consciousness. And it’s easy to do. Think of a relatively rare and/or specific adjective – say, bewildering or existential – and link it with a noun it would never normally qualify. A bewildering cauliflower. An existential flea. You see, you’ve got two things there which need thinking about, which get the creative juices flowing. (Actually ‘creative’ and ‘juices’ is a strange combination, too, and could produce some interesting wee stories.)

Now, to bring the two points together, back in August one of the blogs had a question for its title – ‘What does the dog mean?’ And one visitor was led to that because he or she had searched for ‘What does a dog signify?’ Think about it. What does a dog signify? I can write that owning a dog signifies something about the owner or his/her society. I can say it depends on the dog. Does each dog signify something different? Does the significance of an Airedale match that of a Shih Tzu? (Yes, of course, I chose that one deliberately.) It’s a legitimate question but the actual wording of it is interesting.

As an absurdist, I don’t think anything signifies anything. For me, everything is accidental, contingent. Remember what Macbeth came to realise – that even life itself ‘is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing’. So what hope is there for a mere dog? But it’s great fun playing with words in this way and I’d love to hear your answers to the question.

So, what does a dog signify?

15 comments:

  1. Ha ha... yes, brilliant. An existential flea is, btw, definitely a story worth pursuing - where, after all, would Kafka have been if not for the exploration of the seemingly infeasible.

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  2. Indeed. I'd have my flea wandering through a forest of thick hair just asking 'why?'.

    Which reminds me of one of the best expressions of existential angst - Raymond Briggs's 'Fungus the Bogeyman'. I used to recommend it to students in tutorials - much easier than Sartre and more effective.

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  3. Yes, "Fungus the Bogeyman" is a wonderful story.

    Another one I love is "There's a Hair in my Dirt" by Gary Larson - existential worm and his father's attempts to give meaning to junior's life. It's bliss.

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  4. I love Larson but I haven't seen that one. Thanks, Sandie.

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  5. And if you write "black dog" that will signify something altogether different.

    FYI - in my blog, the post with the most views is the one with "naked ladies" in the title. It was about reading. Honest.

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  6. this is way too clever for my pregnant brain right now. might come back to this one after giving birth in May.

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  7. Michael, I read that one, but the one I remember most is the one with the picture of a lady.

    Scary, you see? You've caught on already. You have a PREGNANT BRAIN - a highly unusual condition, relatively rare in obstetrical units world-wide. Now get plenty of rest, we need more Scarys in the world.

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  8. I love twisting things around...wondering about the life of a dollar bill or coin. Do they LIKE getting stuck in a piggy bank? Is being plunked into a vending machine like a roller coaster ride for them? No wonder I get lost in thought so easily!

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  9. I do exactly the same things, Vicki, the weirder, the better. Do they prefer being tucked into a soft leather wallet or is it thrilling now and then to be soaked in beer on a bar counter then crumpled up in the back pocket of dirty jeans? Life's so much more interesting in that alternative world.

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  10. Well Michael, in the photograph, prominence was given to certain bits of a lady.

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  11. Nope. Lost me. You're going to have to be more specific.

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  12. This is all a big ploy to get people to visit your blog, isn't it? Well, OK, it's always worth a read, I'll give you that. Anyway, if you'd care to revisit your 100th posting, all will be revealed. (All will be revealed! Brilliant! God, I'm good!)

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  13. Children's minds have been dulled by television, computers and video games, so when I taught in the Poetry in the Schools program, I read them a silly poem about an elephant trying to use a telephone, then asked them to write a story about an animal using a household appliance. They had to use their imagination and it wasn't easy for some of them. Sadly, the "dumbing down" of civilization has certainly accomplished its goal.

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  14. I know what you mean, Jean, but I had a better experience when I spent a day in a primary school during their 'literacy week'. (I suppose the fact that the head teacher organised such a thing suggests that they were kids who were encouraged not to dumb down.) Their imaginings were excellent.

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