Friday, 29 April 2011

Equals - a play in 3 acts

I can’t resist a mini-blog on such a day.

Scene 1. Interior. House on a council estate. Mother and Boy are having breakfast.
Boy: All that work paid off, Mum. I got five A grades.
Mum: I know, son. I’m proud of you.
Boy: Think I’ll go to St Andrews.
Mum: Sorry, son. It’s 9 grand a year there.
Boy: Oh. OK. Never mind, I’ll get a job instead.
Mum: There aren’t any.
Boy: Oh, OK. Any more coffee?

Scene 2. Interior. Palace or castle or some other big, posh place. Phone rings. Boy answers it.
Boy: Hello.
Mum (on phone, sounding happy): Good morning.
Boy: Hi Mum.
Mum: I’ve made you Duke of Cambridge.
Boy; Really? Thanks, Mum.

Scene 3. Some time later.
Sun explodes.

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14 comments:

  1. Neil29 April 2011 at 14:10

    Love it!

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  2. Bill Kirton29 April 2011 at 14:25

    Thanks Neil. Sorry, but it's a true story.

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  3. Anneke29 April 2011 at 15:07

    Still, if I had to choose I'd rather be the boy from scene 1. Boy 2 will never be able to buy freedom.
    Strange institution. It shows why we need fiction. The real world is too weird.

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  4. Bill Kirton29 April 2011 at 21:11

    But, Anneke, how much 'freedom' will Boy 1 ever have access to?

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  5. Anneke30 April 2011 at 11:31

    To start with, the freedom to walk around without being followed by paparazzi, the freedom to scratch your private parts without being photographed. I think both boys have limited options. I'd rather be poor in private than being rich with everybody following every step I take.

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  6. scaryazeri30 April 2011 at 11:52

    @Bill: Hahaha. Great, if depressingly real.

    @Anneke: I'd rather be rich, but not the royal, and scratch my private bits on some nice beach somewhere...result, eh. a bit of balance is nice.

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  7. Bill Kirton30 April 2011 at 12:15

    I didn't know women scratched their private bits. I thought that was just men. Ah well, the w*****g has at least increased my knowledge of life.

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  8. Sara Bain30 April 2011 at 18:52

    Sheer genius

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  9. scaryazeri30 April 2011 at 19:49

    @Bill: I thought it was a figure of speech? :)

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  10. Bill Kirton30 April 2011 at 20:59

    Sara, you're so perceptive.

    Scary, not any more.

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  11. Jean Henry Mead30 April 2011 at 23:21

    I guess the U.S. version would be: "Son, I've just made you chairman of the board." I wondered, as we drove the last few miles of our vacation (holiday)yesterday, how citizens of the UK feel about their royalty, pageantry and all those titles.

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  12. Bill Kirton30 April 2011 at 23:45

    Easy to answer, Jean. For some inexplicable reason, the majority want to keep paying for them to 'rule over us'. Needless to say, I'm not one of them.

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  13. Anonymous2 May 2011 at 09:30

    Equals? What hope for progress, if you don't even THINK you are born equal?
    MUTUAL Respect? Nope, don't see any.
    Holier than thou? Yep,couldn't be clearer.
    Give me,freedom, friendship and equality, anyday.

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  14. Bill Kirton2 May 2011 at 10:38

    Succinct, Helen, and spot on.

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